new year…

i started this whole blog thing because of the coming of a new year. i think it was 2010 but i don’t really remember. i needed an outlet for all the things that stream and run through this brain of mine. for a person that thinks a lot i sure am quite quiet. i’ve probably said it before but after mama died i lost myself completely. partly due to the fact for about 3 years or so i took care of her; she was always my world but she ended up becoming my life. i would like to reiterate that this was my choice and wasn’t forced by anyone to take care of her - she was my best-friend. but sometime her sickness became my burden and i smoked the pressure away. like everyday. i’m telling you all this so you can get a clearer, bigger picture of what happened next. well, she died, at home with me and some family. one day i will go into all of what happened that morning/week but i just don’t want to right now.

the point is i literally lost my mind because all that attention i but into taking care of someone else had no place to go. so i went crazy. no joke scratching the walls nuts. but i’m okay now.

this will be my first year without therapy in about two and a half years. im a bit nervous about it but i will be okay. i just wanted to say all this aloud. kinda been scattered brained, tired, and not going to class - but i get my footing soon and really kick some ass this new year.

new year…

i started this whole blog thing because of the coming of a new year. i think it was 2010 but i don’t really remember. i needed an outlet for all the things that stream and run through this brain of mine. for a person that thinks a lot i sure am quite quiet. i’ve probably said it before but after mama died i lost myself completely. partly due to the fact for about 3 years or so i took care of her; she was always my world but she ended up becoming my life. i would like to reiterate that this was my choice and wasn’t forced by anyone to take care of her - she was my best-friend. but sometime her sickness became my burden and i smoked the pressure away. like everyday. i’m telling you all this so you can get a clearer, bigger picture of what happened next. well, she died, at home with me and some family. one day i will go into all of what happened that morning/week but i just don’t want to right now.

the point is i literally lost my mind because all that attention i but into taking care of someone else had no place to go. so i went crazy. no joke scratching the walls nuts. but i’m okay now.

this will be my first year without therapy in about two and a half years. im a bit nervous about it but i will be okay. i just wanted to say all this aloud. kinda been scattered brained, tired, and not going to class - but i get my footing soon and really kick some ass this new year.

Posted 4 months ago 1 note

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