patience…
i think that there is now truly patient person on this planet. if anyone says they are then i would have to call bullshit. i don’t know, maybe it is just me who is full of shit. i just sitting here waiting and i feel like jumping out of my skin because i can’t take not knowing what her answer is gonna be. i know that i told her that i would wait but that was a lie. we are either gonna move foward or she is gonna tell me to fuck the fuck off. just sitting in a vat of of worry. there is a part of me that wishes she would tell me to fuck off - cause sometimes loneliness can appear to be much easier to take then hurt caused by someone other than yourself. i shouldn’t say that. i want her and it makes me feel like a kid, some snotty-nosed, four-ied kid who wants what they want no matter what. i don’t want her because i’m lonely but because the thought of her makes me smile. i said what i said to her and now i’m just waiting for her to tell me what she is thinking. people sometimes, right? patience… not fucking around here, that’s for damn sure.